GROOMING NOT AN ACT OF COMPARING

How To Stop Comparing


1.Remind yourself that you're not alone. It's definitely hard not to compare yourself to others. I don't know whether it's a trait we're born with or one we learn from our societies, but it's definitely a hard habit to break so cut yourself some slack and don't beat yourself up every time you find yourself looking at the guy or girl next to you and thinking, "Man, s/he is way better looking than me." It's normal to do this from time to time, but it's not normal to obsess about it or to let it make you feel terrible about yourself. Whatever you do, make sue you reinforce the positive notion that no matter what you look like, you are more than your appearance.


2.Remember all of the things that are great about YOU. Whenever I find myself feel bad about myself for any reason, I remind myself of my good traits. I tell myself that I'm great at something and focus on the non-physical aspects of my awesomeness. And when I do this, I make sure I'm not comparing. For example, I'll say to myself, "I'm a great writer," not "She might be gorgeous, but I'm definitely a better writer than her." Pump yourself up, but not at the expense of others. Focus on your positive traits (and, yes, you know you have tons of them!).


3.Tell everyone you know to stop talking about appearance. This is a hard one but for a lot of us, the reaction to compare stems from those around us who are also comparing. When we hear others doing the comparing, it's tempting to join right in. In addition, the more those around us talk about and worry about their physical appearances, the more we will too. If it comes up in conversation after you've already asked friends and family not to make it a priority, simply say, "I hear what you are saying but, as I mentioned to you before, I don't think its healthy or productive for me to focus so much on physical appearance." Make it all about you by using the words "I" and "me," because the last thing your companion wants to hear is you bashing him/her for bringing up a topic s/he probably already feels insecure about.

I've found that it's hard not to let my ego get the best of me sometimes. I know there are probably better ways to handle comparisons to others (like, maybe, eliminating all earthly possessions or something like that), but, hey, I'm not perfect. When faced with a society that's constantly bombarding you with images of how you can (and should!) look better than you do, it's pretty hard sometimes not to compare yourself to others. For right now I can only say that I'm going to work on embracing the positive in and around me every moment. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should focus on the great things in our lives that aren't physically represented. We have to counteract society's focus on physical appearance with more important, essential things (such as amazing talents or great friendships).

Sadly, I don't think we're ever going to be able to escape the notion that what we look like impacts our world (society, our friends, and our minds have tainted us too much), but we can do our best to shift our focus to more important, valuable things. We need to remember that no matter what we look like, no matter who is better looking or less attractive than we are, we have a lot more to offer to the world than physical appearance. Without physical beauty, you will still be fabulous, creative, intelligent, generous, loving, thoughtful, passionate people. Keep smiling and believing in your awesomeness! You're beautiful outside and in and no one else's comments, beauty, or attitude can take that away from you.



SONIA SAWHNEY
pgdm- 3rd sem